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Cultural stereotyping is naughty, I know, but let’s admit it; it’s also hilariously true. All the Swedes are of course gay; Finns don’t speak, carry knives and then hex you; Danes eat sandwiches; Norwegians ski everywhere holding a dead fish; and Icelanders bathe in hot springs and eat rotten sharks.

Now read on, or I’ll cast a spell on you after I finish my second breakfast beer and sharpening my knife!

Sweden – the guy who brought you ABBA, IKEA, and HM (all those lovely abbreviations…). He’s a lover of all things beautiful, and the master of packing and selling them to you. He even dared to call meatballs Swedish meatballs. Happy. A bit of a hipster.

Norway – quiet, rich guy. A bit of a peasant compared to Sweden. Skis, hikes, climbs mountains, and extracts oil. Likes fish. A lot. Much like Finland, but slightly happier. Not as cool as Sweden but he really doesn’t care as long as he has his oil and his fish.

Denmark – the guy who speaks in an incomprehensible manner known as “potato in the mouth”. Likes to make sandwiches and beer, and draw improper comics. Happy.

Finland – okay, Norway is not quiet, Finland is. Likes trees and chops them as past-time. Makes genius inventions but doesn’t bother to tell anyone about them. Depressed. Likes reindeer, well done with potatoes. Stubborn.

Iceland – he’s stunning, we hear. Rarely makes an appearance. Nobody understands what he’s saying, but it’s okay all he talks about is some ancient talk about demons, goblins, and such. Likes to huff and puff to distract air travel. Grows small horses and knits sweaters.

Åland (Finnish; Ahvenanmaa) – Finland’s child. Many claim Sweden is the father. Tormented bu the identity disorder of the poor bastard child and caught in an eternal custody battle between the parents.

Here they are on the map.

Midsummer is the one thing we all celebrate together:

Beer Ghost:

Credit for the wonderful comics goes to Scandinavia and the World where also Canada, USA, UK, Japan and many other countries make an appearance to torment the poor Nordics. You can find them here.

(Should I be worried since Greenland’s seal sandwich looks kind of appetizing to me?)

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